Michelle Getting Healthy

One of the things I have been thinking about, now being 1/3rd of the way through the 6 week Eat to Live program, is what I want to do once I’ve made it through the 6 weeks.  I can’t see myself eating stricting nutritarian for the rest of my life- I’m too much of a foodie.  I think it’s a great way to reset my habits and eating patterns, but I don’t think it’s sustainable for the type of life I’d like to lead.  I’ve been discussing this with my family, and one of things we’ve talked about that makes a lot of sense to me is eating for nutrition vs. eating for pleasure.  I think that if I aim to make the vast majority of my meals eating for nutrition, that I will be able to enjoy the meals that I eat for pleasure with less guilt and impact on my health.  This is not to say the two things are mutually exclusive- I certainly enjoy most of my nutritious meals, and the majority of my pleasurable meals are quite nutritious.  But it shifts the focus, so that, say my breakfasts and lunch during the week are about fueling myself and loading up on nutrients, rather than seeking out pleasure.

I did deviate from the plan on Sunday morning, and had my first animal product and added oil in two weeks.  I was out to breakfast with my family, and our plan to eat out at a vegan restaurant was thwarted because they were closed for Earth Day.  (I kid you not.)  So we ended up at Esselon, a cafe I adore.  I have had many an order of pomme frites and gluten-free grilled cheese with creamy tomato soup there.  I ended up opting for the egg special (since I can’t tolerate tofu, which was my vegan option), which was eggs scrambled with pesto, with a side salad with vinaigrette and a grilled yellow tomato.  It was delicious, and I savored every bite.  However, I also noticed that it tasted quite oily to me, which was interesting- it almost overpowered the greens, and the tomato, and definitely made the fluffy eggs heavier tasting than they might have been.  I really enjoyed it, AND I saw ways that making it healthier would have improved the taste.  I was worried about my reaction to the meal, but I actually ended up feeling pretty ok except for a heavy feeling in my stomach that stretched into the afternoon.  I ended up eating pretty lightly the rest of the day, and had a smoothie for dinner to get lots of produce in.  I didn’t regret the meal or beat myself up as much as I might have- I made the best decision I could at that moment, and moved on.

Monday and today it was back to basics- fruit and nuts for breakfast, salad with beans for lunch- these are meals for nutrition, for fuel.  That doesn’t mean they are not enjoyable, but the enjoyment isn’t the point- feeding my body well is.  Monday night I had a small serving of brown rice pasta with homemade tomato vegetable sauce, Italian-spiced cannellini beans, and avocado with a big green salad.  I could have made it a meal for pleasure and had some of the fried bean cakes Aimee made which looked (and were reportedly) delicious, but I decided that this was an eating for nutrition night, since I had had a pleasure meal the day before.  The same held true tonight- while my family had burritos, I made myself a bean bowl.  Same toppings, different delivery.

So maybe there is a sustainable pattern here- that the majority of my meals are meals for nutrition, full of veggies, fruits, nuts, seeds, and healthy whole grains, and that I have an occasional meal for pleasure, where I have some of the things I normally don’t have- added oils, animal products, processed grains, etc, with the goal of not overindulging but fully enjoying the food I am having while I am having it.
I’m also noticing that I have a lot more energy in the past couple of weeks than I have in a long time.  I don’t know if it’s the diet, the increased movement, the spring coming, or my thyroid medication kicking in.  I used to need a recovery period after work, where I would sit and veg out before I did anything else.  Now, I come home and I still have quite a bit of energy most nights.  Tonight, for instance, my plans fell through because the host of my small group ministry group was sick.  Instead of just parking myself in front of TV, I decided to make dinner for my family.  I decided to test out my new Ninja Express Chop (which I bought yesterday as another Happy-Birthday-to-me) and brought home a bunch of ingredients for salsa and bean dip.  I made a tomato salsa, a corn salsa, avocado and bean dip, and chopped up a bunch of peppers.  It definitely was a lot quicker using the Express Chop than by hand with much smoother results, and so much easier to make the dip that way than the Vitamix, which is overkill and much harder to get a small amount out of!  We also heated up and spiced some black beans and pinto beans.  It took a couple of hours, all told, but it was definitely worth the effort to make fresh healthy food, and to make my family happy!

I was very happy with this morning’s weigh-in- I was down another 2.6 lbs for a total of 9.5 lbs lost these past two weeks.  I’m now at 210.2, which gives me a clear goal for the coming week- get myself under 210 lbs!  I also met one of my intermediate goals, which was to get my BMI under 40- it is now 39.6, which moves me from Obese Class III (Very severely obese) to Obese Class II (Severely obese).  Which leaves me still severely obese, but hey, it’s movement in the right direction!  When I learned I was in the highest of the obesity classes, that really scared me.  I know that BMI is only one not stellar measure, but for someone like me without a lot of muscle and a small frame, it’s at least a good one to look at.

Yesterday was a really hard food day for me.  I ended up having another bowl of black beans, corn salsa, salsa fresca, and the avocado bean dip (no rice) for breakfast, and then another small bowl (with rice) for breakfast.  The idea of eating a salad, or even cooked greens, just made me nauseous.  I know that that is much more psychological than physiological, and has to do with my heightened anxiety.  I also found myself doing some mindless snacking yesterday (homemade almond crackers with cocoa nibs)-  all food that is allowed, but it was the action of standing in the kitchen and sneaking the food that was not something I want to continue.  I did have a snack of a banana and a few almonds when we were out yesterday, which I had planned ahead for because I knew we’d be on the run, and then Aimee made chana masala for dinner, served over rice, with a side salad of kale, avo, tomato & cayenne.  So yesterday was full of too many starchy foods and not enough greens.  I did successfully avoid any of the cravings I had post-dinner, which were not from hunger, but out of habit.  I’m definitely finding that the weekends are a lot harder for me to stay on my discipline than the weeks!  But I also know that with the stress of this week with the Boston bombing, this was not at all a normal week and I could have done much, much, much worse.
My goal for this week is to complete week 1 of C25k, and to do well at following my diet plan this week, especially more healthy veggies!

The combination of fighting a cold all week and all of the stress from the Boston Marathon bombing case progress made for one tired Michelle by the end of the work day today. (Ok, more like the middle- and my boss was kind enough to let me leave early. I had worked overtime last week, so it seemed like the best choice to take care of myself.)  It took me about 40 minutes to complete my shopping, and then I headed home to my lovely family and was so glad to see them.  After I unpacked the groceries, Connor asked me to carry him when I got home, so we snuggled quietly for a moment, standing in the kitchen, and all felt right in my world again for a moment.

I have quite a lot of positive to report today, even in the midst of all this drama.  Part of me feels like my life is very small right now in light of these big events.  Another part of my feels like, well, this is important- recognizing all of these small things that make up my amazing, pretty normal life.  Every day I try to recognize the reasons why and the ways in which I am blessed.

Today, one of those ways I am blessed was for the willpower to get up at 5PM this morning and get on the treadmill to complete Week 1 Day 1 of Couch to 5k (ever more amusing with a zombie trainer, thanks to the Active.com C25k app.  I really didn’t want to get up.  I pushed snooze twice (and of course, had set my alarm extra early enough that I could get away with it!).  But my clothes were lying there, waiting for me, with my magazine, my earphones, and my shoes- for which I owe thanks to my awesome friend Tara over at Living Bariatric, who recently wrote about the importance of having your workout gear prepared so you have less of an opportunity to use it as an excuse.  (Thank you again, Tara!)  And so I got up, and put them on.  And got down there, and I did it.  And it sucked, and it hurt (just in that ow-my-body-needs-to-remember way).  And I’ll do it again tomorrow.

Another blessing was getting to use our new Sodastream, which was my birthday gift to myself and my family.  We’re not big soda drinkers, but being able to have seltzer on demand was super appealing (especially to me, since I do the majority of lugging the many many seltzer bottles we buy up the stairs after I buy them!).  It is bubby and delicious, and it will be fun to experiment with ways to flavor it.  Today I used a drop of vanilla and a drop of orange extract, and it was even more delicious than the store bought version.

Finally, another blessing was having a good food day despite my stress.  It wasn’t completely on plan, but I also did not eat any mom plan foods, nor did I overeat- I just didn’t get the proportions in that the plan calls for.  I had a banana and a 1/2 oz of almonds for breakfast, a banana spinach mixed berry cashew flax smoothie for lunch (because I was so anxious the thought of chewing made me nauseous), and then brown rice and cumin-spiced black beans with the salsa fresca & corn salsas I made last night, as well as a surprisingly delicious Avocado Bean Dip.  I am so proud of myself for trying 3 new recipes with minimal help from Aimee (and two all on my own!).

I am not following Eat to Live to the letter, but it’s definitely influencing my habits in positive ways beyond the *what* I’m eating, and so that is another positive!

Yesterday I had a delicious dinner- Aimee’s homemade tomato-vegetable sauce with nicely seasoned cannellini beans over raw squash “noodles”.  It was delicious!  If those noodles are the only thing that we ever make with our spiral vegetable slicer, it will still be worth it! I never thought a raw zucchini could be something I’d end up craving! Aimee also made me an awesome smoothie in the afternoon with banana, orange & flax, and I also had a couple of bites of her experimental chia pudding last night.

I got to take a walk for about an hour with Aimee, Connor, and Tyson yesterday evening, and that was lovely.  But a hour long walk with a 2-year-old, a 12 lbs. dog and a pregnant lady does not a challenging workout make!  Today I had an appointment after work, so I was able to get in a 45-minute walk around downtown Northampton.  I know I need to amp up my exercise, but I am having a hard time figuring out timing and getting myself to start.  I did download a Couch to 5K program last night that has a zombie trainer, so that little bit of fun could be helpful!  My hope is to start the program tomorrow morning- I have already laid out my workout clothes, shoes, and earphones.  I would also love to try to get to yoga this weekend, perhaps to a Saturday morning class, or on Sunday night.

Yesterday my daily quote from the Dalai Lama was, “What I believe, according to my own experience, is that a calm, peaceful mind is a very important element for sustaining the body in a balanced way.”  I know that my meditation practice is essential to my overall health, and my success at losing weight- and yet I am also resisting getting started with this practice again.  I’m trying to wrap my head around why I resist what I know is so beneficial to me.  I think, in part, it is my fear of being quiet, and how that will feel.    I have been working on my mindfulness, things like chewing the 1/2 oz. of almonds I had for breakfast 20 times each, and savoring my herbal tea.

Today’s meals:

*Small banana and 1/2 oz. almonds for breakfast

*Big Ass Salad of spinach, mushrooms, and red onion with chickpeas and mixed fresh berries with a touch of raspberry balsamic for lunch (getting in my G-BOMBS- greens, beans, onions, mushrooms and berries- all in one go!)

*Homemade lentil vegetable soup with some nutritional yeast and a sprinkle of Rawmesean (which has salt in it, but one serving has next to no sodium, so I’m ok with that if it makes the soup THAT much better!)

Tonight I made a basic salsa and a corn salsa to have with black bean & rice bowls tomorrow night when my friend laurel comes over for dinner. I’m also going to experiment with a guacamole bean dip.  Yum!  Even though about an hour of work from prep through drying the dishes, it felt good to make my own salsa rather than buy it!

Breakfast yesterday morning was a pear and some almonds, and this morning was a cup of quinoa made with apples and coconut milk- I don’t yet have the discipline of taking my medication first thing down, which impairs my ability to make a smoothie in the morning. I’m thinking about ways to fix this.  I don’t think I would have thought a piece of fruit and some nuts, or a bit of grain and fruit, would have been an adequate breakfast in the past, and would have seen it as more of a snack.  But now I’m realizing it takes a lot less than I was habituated to to satisfy me for a meal.  My lunch is another case in point- Yesterday I made my usual cup & half of soup over steamed spinach, but this time I did not finish it.  I stopped when I felt full, and packaged the rest up for today, which I had with a small salad topped with beans and avocado on the side. In any case, I am starting to pay better attention to my body, my actual hunger, as opposed to just stopping when whatever is in front of my is gone.  My cravings for higher fat, non-vegan, processed foods are definitely diminishing.

One of the things that I have been realizing with this new way of eating is how often I eat to fill an empty space within me.  The longer I let myself sit with the uncomfortable feelings brought up by not giving in to my old food patterns, the more I realize how much I was using my food as medication.  It’s a hard realization, and one I’m just beginning to really take a look at.  Overall, it’s been remarkable to me how easy it has been to refrain from the things I’m not supposed to be eating, and to focus on the things that are good for me.

I read an interesting article today over at Mind Body Green and this quote specifically got me: “The endless cycle of numbing ourselves to escape from our fears and doubts has become a regular part of the human condition. The moment a feeling creeps in, we are quick to cover it up with sugar, shopping, drugs, alcohol, over-working, over-spending, over-analyzing, over-anything to keep from feeling anything negative. To truly be happy, get in touch with your feelings, pronto! “  Reading that was like a cartoon slap to the face.  I know I run from my feelings, and that food is just part of the equation of how I do it.  I know that in this process to get healthier, I will be doing a lot more than just changing what I eat- it will, by necessity, involve changing how I think and deal with my emotions.

I’m also realizing that my resistance to exercise comes from a similar place of avoiding discomfort- not just the physical discomfort of exercise, but the mental and spiritual discomfort I associate with it, as well.  When I think about the times that I feel most present and integrated- spiritually, physically, mentally, emotionally- they all involve physicality, exertion.  While doing yoga, while running, when I climb to the top of a mountain, those are the times I feel most fully me.  And yet I actively avoid those opportunities, and I’m trying to figure out why.  I think, in part, it is just easier to continue in kind of a holding pattern, without feeling too much or being too challenged.  But this also means I’m not growing, I’m not getting healthier (and in fact, I’m getting less healthy).

I headed out to dinner with friends last night, and it was the second time I’d eaten at home first and then just had a drink while friends had food.  I made myself a filling salad, with greens, avocado, chickpeas, and a sprinkle of sunflower seeds and raspberry balsamic, and also brought a banana to have right before we went into the restaurant (since the place we were going was an hour from home).  I looked at the website for the restaurant, and, not surprisingly, unless I got a plain garden salad (which wouldn’t be organic in any case!) there isn’t anything I can order there (nor at the second chain we ended up at since the first was full). My friends had a delicious looking meal- alcoholic drinks, fried appetizers with cheesy and creamy dipping sauces, and my friend sitting next to me even had fettuccini alfredo (a former favorite of mine), topped off with chocolatey creamy desserts.  And yet, I was able to focus on the friendship and company as I sipped my water with lime and decaf coffee, and was not tempted by the foods I was choosing not to have.  Again, it was surprising, and also gives me some hope.
I’m already starting to think about the future, and what will happen when these 6 weeks are done- what will going out look like then?  Will I make the decision to stick with this path, and that kind of abstinence will be the new normal?  Or will I make exceptions when dining out?  Will I stick to vegan, gluten-free dining out, and nutritarian at home?  The further in I go, the more questions I know I need to face.

Before I begin my entry today, I have to say, as someone who enjoys running, and especially running in races, and as someone who lives in Massachusetts, my heart is breaking today for all of those affected by the explosions at the Boston Marathon today.  It makes me want to make sure I sign up for a 5K, and soon, to support the organizations that put these wonderful events on.  I have enough inner fear that keeps me from running- I won’t let outer pressure affect me as well!

The first thing I have to share today is the results of my 1st weekly weigh-in… I decided to move weigh-ins to Sunday mornings instead of Mondays, so I have some time to really think about my plan for the week and adjust accordingly.  My weigh in last week was: 219.6 and my weigh-in this week was: 212.7 lbs.  Down 6.9 lbs down this week.  It felt good to confirm with a number what my body is feeling- my body likes eating this way.  I obviously don’t expect to maintain this rate of loss, but it was helpful to see my efforts positively reflected on the scale.

Saturday- I caved a bit and had already prepared salsa (which had salt as an ingredient) with my black bean and avocado on my sweet potato but, omg, that was delicious!  That will definitely be a standby for me, for a nice treat.  As I progress and we have more in the freezer, like salsa without having to chop up YETONEMORETHING, it will become even easier.

Sunday- I had a pretty good day foodwise, yesterday, despite some challenges.  We were running late for church, so instead of a smoothie I had a 1/2 oz of almonds and banana, which is becoming a breakfast-on-the-run staple. I had a big green salad for lunch (the leftovers from Saturday’s lunch) and a smoothie of fruit, a bit of almond milk, and flax seed.  For dinner I had some of the awesome lentil vegetable soup Aimee and I made to have in the fridge this week (well, she crafted it- I chopped!).  I also had about 2 cups of fruit salad and a cup or so of raw veggies when I was at my staff appreciation party last night, but no verboten foods, which I was incredibly proud of.  It was one of my biggest challenges so far- to not drink and to not have any of the party food (wings, pizza, chips, soda, etc.) while I was there.  It was a win in some ways- go willpower!- but also really really hard.  I definitely use alcohol as a social lubricant when in large social situations, and I didn’t do that last night.  On the other hand a lot of the fruits and veggies I had were 1. not at meal time and 2. not eaten out of hunger.  It highlighted a need for me to work on my social awkwardness and find ways to relax that don’t involve food and drink.

I didn’t get much movement in because of timing yesterday- a short walk outside, and lots of time on my feet at the party.  After less that 5 hours of sleep today, I’m definitely exhausted.

Today’s breakfast was 3/4 oz of almonds and mixed fresh berries.  I’m finding I need far less to keep me satisfied at each meal than I thought I did!  Lunch was steamed spinach mixed with some of the mushroom soup leftover from last weekend.  Dinner was a salad with avocado, kidney beans, and a splash of balsamic.  I also had a few fingerling potatoes from Red Fire Farm on the side (we picked them up at our farmer’s market Saturday) which were delicious all on their own.  In part because of the emotional stress of the day, I was really craving ice cream.  Instead, I made myself a smoothie of banana, date, pineapple, a dash of almond milk, water, ground flax, spinach, and ice.  It was delicious, and pretty light green color.  The date gave it a wonderful sweetness along with the banana and pineapple.  While I need to work on my overall emotional eating, beginning by making smarter choices is a good first step.

To sum up today:  1.  Raw: Nice salad at dinner 2.  Cooked: At lunch.  3.  Beans: At lunch and dinner.  4.  Fruit: Fruit at breakfast, small portion at lunch, and for dessert with dinner. 5.  Starches:  Potatoes, but only a couple fingerlings- I actually put two back because I had had enough.   6.  Nuts/Seeds:  Almonds at breakfast, cashew in the soup, almond milk in the smoothie. I need to watch this, as the amount is creeping up.   7.  Avocado: In my dinner salad. 8.  Flaxseed: In my dessert smoothie. 9.  Herbs/Spices/Condiments: Check! 10.  G-Bombs? (Greens, Beans, Onions, Mushrooms, Berries, Seeds/Nuts): Check!

This is going to be a highlight edition, because it’s the weekend and I’m enjoying things like long walks with my family, and trips to museums. I love when we’re relatively unscheduled and can just do things on a whim!

Before I get started on Friday, I wanted to share a little joy about some victories on Thursday, when I had my long day at work.  I successfully navigated the meeting by having my soup and salad before the meeting.  I even planned ahead foe Friday, knowing I would not feel like making a salad when I got home, and packed on from my salad bar while on a break, repackaged it in my salad bowl from that day’s lunch, and there it was, waiting for me Friday!  (The fact that I ended up bringing it home for Friday dinner instead doesn’t erase the prior planning!)

I also successfully said no to one of my favorite dessert treats of all time- a Hank-o-Rama bar.  It’s this amazing peanut butter coconut chocolate bar thing, that’s like fudge or a giant Reeses Peanut Butter cup (my favorite childhood candy), and it’s vegan and gluten-free and made of pure awesome.  Along with that awesome is a lot of fat, sugar, and salt that I should not be having right now. Along with the bars they served vanilla coconut ice cream, which sounds like a delicious combination, and looked like it… and in the warm room of the meeting I could smell the delicious smell of the bars getting a little melty.  It was torture. But I was able to step back and say, hey, this isn’t compatible with my goals right now. I’ll be able to have one, or something similar, at some point- just not right now.  Right now I have a goal, and a focus, and I’m remembering daily that willpower is a muscle that will only grow stronger if I exercise it!

Because of my new medication I’m on for the Hashimoto’s, I need to wait in the morning before I eat.  This meant Friday morning I didn’t end up making a smoothie, but instead just grabbed an apple & a banana and an oz. of almonds which I at at 7:30.  I thought for sure I’d be ravenous way before lunch, and was delightfully surprised that I was fine until 12:30 or so when I had lunch.  While I enjoy the smoothies a lot more than just the fruit and nuts, and it’s a good way for me to get in some raw veggies and flax in the morning, it’s good to know that a bit of nuts and some fruit are a doable stand-in.

On Friday Aimee and I had planned a date, and were going to grab dinner at my store in teh afternoon.  Because I knew I would not be able to eat any of the available vegetables (they have either added salt or oil), I knew I needed another way to get my cooked veggie sin for the day.  My solution was to throw a brick of frozen spinach into my bag along with a cup of leftover soup.  I ended up heating them up together, and it was delicious.   The spice of the soup was strong enough to make this super yummy rather than watered down tasting. I’ll be doing this again!  I think I’m going to learn to like cooked frozen greens.

I finished out Friday with a delicious dinner! Salad with avocado and white tea peach vinegar, roasted cauliflower (with no oil or salt), and freshly made cream of raw cashew tomato soup.

Today (Saturday) I ended up having a grain breakfast- 1/2 a cup of cooked quinoa with apples, vanilla, cinnamon & nutmeg and a bit of unsweetened coconut milk, with mixed berries on the side.  It was yummy!

I also had a challenge knowing we’d be out today- Aimee and I took Connor to the Wadsworth Atheneum in Hartford for kids day.  So I packed up a small cooler with some snacks, including raw nuts and fruit, and a big bottle of water.  I’m training not to snack, per my program, but I know that breaking my patterns with snacking on weekends will be difficult- especially when we’re on the run and having weird hours for food.  It was good to have a small banana and a handful of almonds when I needed them for energy this afternoon.

Aimee and I chose to lunch at Whole Foods in West Hartford because they have a huge salad bar, so we were able to make awesome salads and stay on plan.  It’s a Whole Foods I used to have lunch at at least once or twice a week when I taught in West Hartford 5-6 years ago, so there’s also some nostalgia for me.  It was easy to find food that made us all happy, so I’ll definitely be doing this again in the future and scoping out the availabilities of salad bars when I’m on the run!

Tonight for dinner we’re having sweet potato with black beans, guac, and fresh chopped veggies.  Nom nom nom. It’s a grain/carb heavy day for me, so I definitely want to scale back on that tomorrow.  I’m finding it’s good to balance my days- heavier one day, lighter the next- based on what I have planned.
Figuring out when to exercise has been a major issue- I ended up not walking on Thursday (it was raining when I had intended to at work) or on Friday (it was terrible weather, and then Aimee has a cold so we couldn’t go walk at the mall or anything either).  I did make sure we got out today- in addition to walking all over the museum, we took at 45-minute walk at a local reservoir, which I had never been to- it was gorgeous!  I find that when I have exercise buddies – and we make it fun- it makes me really happy as well as get me moving.   I also took this cute picture of Connor, Aimee, and Ian.  Aren’t they great motivation for wanting to get healthy?

Thank you all for your kind comments and support.  Hearing your stories is helpful, both the hard and the inspiring ones.  A friend told me that in Peru they call diseases Grandmothers, and that a teacher she works with had told her “within every disease there is a teacher that delivers a profound experience of love.”  That message- of kindness, of positivity, was exactly what I needed this morning, and I’m getting teary again thinking about it.  While I used to think of Mr. Lyme (when I was diagnosed with Lyme Disease) as my enemy, embracing Grandmother Hashimoto and learning form her seems a much better path.

This morning I got to share breakfast with my wife and son, because it’s a late work day for me.  We made a big smoothie, with raw cashew, pineapple, banana, mango, a few strawberries, spinach, and freshly ground flax seed (as well as water/ice).  Delicious!

I had a weak moment this morning and got on the scale.  I was curious because I had a feeling that the change in just 3 days would be significant (and I needed some encouragement to stay on the right path during a work meeting with food tonight!)  It was, and it was definitely encouragement that I’m on the right path.  I know it’s a lot of water weight, because I’ve drastically reduce my salt/processed food intake.  But so far, so good.

Because of my Board meeting tonight, I’m posting my plan for the day now, and will report in how I did tomorrow!  I did pack a Big Ass Salad for lunch, with sunflower seeds, 2 oz. of avocado, and chickpeas, and will have it with a touch of balsamic.  I also packed a pear and some mixed berries for dessert at lunch and dinner.  I have my mushroom soup for dinner, and will get myself a salad from the salad bar if there isn’t anything I can eat offered as part of the meeting.  I’m hoping to get a walk in later in the day by taking a break at work, but this may not be a good activity day.

To sum up: 1.  Raw: Planned! 2.  Cooked: Planned for dinner, but probably not a lbss of green.3.  Beans: Planned at lunch and dinner.  4.  Fruit: Fruit at breakfast, and planned for lunch and dinner. 5.  Starches:  None today, unless I have something at the meeting. 6.  Nuts/Seeds:  Raw cashews at breakfast and sunflower seeds at lunch, as well as cashew in the soup. A little heavy today, but since I had none yesterday, a good balance. 7.  Avocado: packed with lunch. 8.  Flaxseed: Already drank. 9.  Herbs/Spices/Condiments: Check! 10.  G-Bombs? (Greens, Beans, Onions, Mushrooms, Berries, Seeds/Nuts): Planned.

So today, I finally (after 3 months of waiting) saw the endocrinologist and was officially diagnosed with Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis, with is an autoimmune thyroid disease.  I pretty much knew this would be the diagnosis, and that going on a thyroid pill would be the treatment, but I wasn’t ready for all of the lightbulbs today offered.  Information about my infertility issues, possible connections between my gluten and lactose intolerances and the Hashimoto’s… Especially interesting was, because the doctor had access to my labs going back to 2009, she was able to see that this issue has been going on at least that long.  It’s not surprising to me- Aimee’s been telling me that I have a thyroid imbalance issue for nearly a decade- but I’m glad I finally have a diagnosis so I can seek treatment.  While I am going on the lowest dose to start, my challenge now is to find ways to increase my overall health so that I can slow the progression.  But this sure gives me a lot of answers to a whole host of health issues I’ve had for quite some time- as a friend pointed out, the symptoms in the wiki for Hashi’s kind of fits me perfectly.  I’m excited to see what happens next, now that I have some more answers!  And it’s coming at the right time, as I am primed to take charge of my health.

As for my food today:  For breakfast I had a smoothie, this time no Vega, just plants! Spinach, banana, watermelon, and mixed berries.  I forgot the flax, and didn’t do any nuts or additions this time.  It was still filling, and I wasn’t hungry until lunch at noon, which surprised me.  My general lack of hunger until mealtime has been really surprising these past few days.

For lunch I had packed leftover steamed green veggies & tofu over a salad, with a touch of balsamic vinegar.  It was actually really yummy to have the cold cooked veggies (especially the pea pods & broccoli), which was surprising to me.  I actually ended up having meetings run longer than anticipated, and so did not make it to the soup I had packed (more of the delicious mushroom soup we made Sunday).  As I have a long work day tomorrow, it will be a welcome addition to my lunch then.  I was actually not that hungry when I got home, though I did share some watermelon with Connor.

For dinner we did an experiment… I used my new vegetable spiral cutter and made raw zucchini pasta, with some raw carrot accent, which I topped with warm homemade veggie-full tomato sauce (that Aimee made last summer from our farmshare and froze) and a combinations of leftovers from last night (the cannellini beans with mushrooms, kale, cauliflower, & onions).  It was delicious and super filling- so much so that though I made myself my dessert shake of 1/2 avocado, banana, vanilla, cinnamon, a splash of unsweetened coconut milk, and flax seed, I only had a few bites (it came out more like a Frosty than a smoothie!) before I said enough.

So far, I’m really surprised how satisfied I feel, and how easy it has been so far to stick to the program.  Even in the face of my son eating some delicious snacks in front of me, and all the temptations of the store, I’m finding it easier to say, well, that’s not my food. Not now, perhaps not ever, and that feels ok.

Movement: I was nervous I wouldn’t have time for a walk today, but we figured it out.  I walked with Ian to our local CVS to pick up my new prescription, despite a light rain, and I didn’t melt!  It was a little over 30 minutes AND we got to check something off the To Do list. I win!

1.  Raw: Big Ass Salad at lunch, plus the zucchini at dinner and spinach in the smoothie… check!

2.  Cooked:  At both lunch and dinner. Combining the raw and cooked in the same plate works well!

3.  Beans:  Tofu at lunch, and beans on dinner… probably a cup.

4.  Fruit: Fruit at breakfast, but I was too full at dinner, and ran out of time at lunch. Probably only 2 servings today.

5.  Starches:  None today.

6.  Nuts/Seeds:  None today. Oops. How’d I miss this? Interesting I didn’t miss it… But I have to work on this tomorrow!

7.  Avocado: I attempted some, but not so much with the dessert smoothie.

8.  Flaxseed: Also a dessert smoothie casualty.

9.  Herbs/Spices/Condiments: Check!

10.  G-Bombs? (Greens, Beans, Onions, Mushrooms, Berries, Seeds/Nuts): All except seeds/nuts.

One of the things I am glad for, while doing the Eat to Live 6 week challenge, is that I am not someone who needs caffeine in the morning.  I have transitioned to having herbal tea exclusively, with no withdrawal because my caffeinated consumption was an occasional cup of coffee and a daily chai tea with no cream.  My new favorite is Equal Exchange’s Vanilla Rooibos (http://club.equalexchange.coop/teas/organic_vanilla_rooibos_tea.html).  It’s a hint of sweet with no caffeine and very low tannins.  For a while a bag of this with a bag of Equal Exchange’s Chai has been my morning tea, but making the switch has not been difficult.  I even had a cup of peppermint tea yesterday.

I started my day off again with a smoothie made with Vega One Natural flavor, ground flaxseed, water/ice, a whole bunch of mixed berries (strawberry, blueberry, blackberry), a banana, and a ton of spinach.  I made the drink at 6:30AM and drank it slowly until 8AM, and at 11:30AM when my alarm went off for lunch, I wasn’t hungry yet.  I think that, no matter what comes of this experiment, a morning smoothie will be one of the things I continue to do.  (I may try to start not having the Vega, as well, and see how I feel with just the veggies, fruit etc. but use part of my nut allotment in the shake.)  It’s nice to not be thinking about food all morning, as I often do.  While not allowing myself to eat anything at work that I haven’t brought that day was helpful to start this process, knowing that I’m not eating until lunch helps add “It’s not my time to eat” to “That’s not my food.”  And because I’m not feeling physical hunger, I haven’t needed to use these tools much.  I used to be a big grazer, and would snack throughout the day.  I’m finding I like the 3 big meals (or maybe 3 bigs with one late afternoon snack) because I spend less of my day eating, and so less of my time thinking about food.

Lunch was a big raw salad of mixed greens, carrots, snap peas, celery, cucumber, and red, orange, and yellow sweet peppers, topped with a cup of cannellini beans and some Southwest no-salt seasoning.  I decided to try just using some of the bean water for the “dressing” and it worked pretty well!  I also had an apple and a 1/2 oz. of nuts to round out lunch.  The best part was that it was nice enough for me to take my Big Ass Salad outside and sit in the sun while I ate, as well as have a nice conversation about food politics with a friend.  Huzzah!

This afternoon, Aimee and I took Connor to a nearby park and played for a while, and then took a nice walk through the woods.  It was awesome to see him getting excited about hiking through the woods, saying hello to the trees and pinecones, getting excited when a plane would fly overhead or a dog would run by.  It was 70 degrees today, and I couldn’t have been happier for the spring!

Dinner was delicious, and even merits a picture.  Aimee has been incredible trying to support me in my Eating to Live attempts.  For dinner, we made a big green salad, and she made mushrooms, kale, cauliflower seasoned with garlic, onion & herbs de Provence, with a side of similarly seasoned cannellini beans.  We each had a small sweet potato as well, and I sprinkled mine with some chipotle pepper. It was kind of awesome to enjoy the sweet potato in a whole new way- I normally would slather mine with butter and sour cream.

I made myself a smoothie for dessert that I definitely want to remember- first I blended a 1/2 cup of water with a dash of vanilla extract and a 1/2 oz. of cashews for a little creaminess, and then I added ice, a small banana, a tangerine, some pineapple, and a sprinkle of dried coconut.   After a whir in the Vitamix I had a wonderful creamy tropical concoction.  Delicious!

So today has been a good one!:

1.  Raw: Big Ass Salad, check!  Also a smaller green salad with dinner.

2.  Cooked:  Kale tonight, yum! Probably not a pound. This will definitely be a hard one for me. Also cauliflower.

3.  Beans:  A cup of beans on my salad, check!  Also some for dinner.

4.  Fruit: Fruit at breakfast, lunch & dinner, check!  I’m also getting in a good variety.

5.  Starches:  A small sweet potato today.

6.  Nuts/Seeds:  1/2 oz. Almonds with my apple post-salad at lunch, 1/2 oz. in my smoothie for dessert at dinner.

7.  Avocado: None today- none were ripe

8.  Flaxseed: In my morning smoothie, check!

9.  Herbs/Spices/Condiments: Check!

10.  G-Bombs? (Greens, Beans, Onions, Mushrooms, Berries, Seeds/Nuts): All of the above- check!