Countdown to 2014 Part 1: Reflections

It’s been a difficult few months, adjusting to life with a new little one in the house.  It’s been especially difficult to adjust to life with both a toddler and a newborn.  Even with four parents and a grandma living with us, it’s difficult to work full-time jobs, take care of the kids and house, and have time to take care of ourselves too.  Like all adjustments, it takes time to adjust to change.  We had a good start with the DDP Yoga program in late Oct/early Nov, but we were overly ambitious in our abilities to adjust our family’s growth AND the holidays AND creating new healthy habits.  I am happy to say that I have made some pretty great choices during the past couple of months, but I am definitely looking forward to the end of the holiday season this week and the start of 2014 so that our social/family calendar is a bit slower.  Having had somewhat of an adjustment to having 2 kids, we’re all ready to get back on the path to better health together, and to make that a family priority in the new year.

2013 was a year of great change for our family, with the new baby, Grandma moving in, and Mike going from being our stay-at-home dad to working full time.  Healthwise, things have been less than stellar.  I was diagnosed with Hashimoto’s this year, went through another really tough bout of Lyme Disease in late spring, and have dealt with continued fertility issues as well as flareups of my recurring depression, anxiety, and panic disorder.  I’m lucky to have a wonderful therapist to support me through all this, as well as a fantastic network of family, friends, and advisors.  I can definitively say that having a much less negatively eventful year, healthwise, in 2014 would be a blessing!

The diagnosis of Hashimoto’s was a big a-ha for me.  Knowing that the condition (which the endo could pinpoint I’ve had since at least 2008, and probably earlier) is a form of autoimmune hypothyroid that can have a big effect of weight and weight loss helps me better understand what I have been up against the past few years.  I was in the low 190s in June 2012, down from a high in the mid 230s in the year prior when I was diagnosed with Lyme for the first time, but by the end of 2012 I was back up to 215 lbs, and over the course of 2013, with a few peaks and valleys, I have gained back another 10 lbs to put me squarely back in the territory of 225 lbs.  I really don’t want to be back up to 235 in 2014.  My body is incredibly uncomfortable to live in at this weight.  When I was 35-40 lbs lighter I suffered a lot less joint pain and general discomfort.

It wasn’t just the decreased weight that helped me feel better- it was also cleaner eating, less stress, and regular mindful movement through running and yoga.  It’s really easy to for me to use the busy of my life as an excuse not to take care of my self.  In order to take care of those I love, I need to take care of myself.  And so, in 2014, I am making it a point to remember that I am worth it.  My friend Tara “tricked” me into saying a variation on this idea recently- that I am worth the effort- and it struck me as incredibly important.  I am worthy of my time, my energy, my focus.

Combining this with my theme from a few years ago- excellence, not perfection- I ask myself, what excellent choices can I make in 2014?  How should I focus my time, my energy, and my resources?  Next comes the planning.
(Psst… YOU are worth it, too!  What are YOU going to do to make 2014 an excellent year?)

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3 Responses to Countdown to 2014 Part 1: Reflections

  1. Tara says:

    Me?! Tricky!?

    Naaaaah 😉

  2. Euphrates says:

    So, we’re in about the same spot weight-wise (at least we were when you wrote this anyway). I am absolutely petrified of gaining back to the 260 lbs I started at when I started losing with Sparkpeople (I’ve had nightmares), and I keep telling myself I can’t afford new clothes so I don’t actually go and try anything on (but I keep a spare pair of scrubs in my locker at work in case I split my pants…they are that tight). And school has ramped up the stress so far that adding anything else “to the queue” is enough to spark random emotional breakdowns (though now that we’re past the first week or so, I’m not feeling quite so fragile all the time…just a good bit of the time). I know I need to take better care of myself – there are health issues cropping up that keep reminding me. And for gods’ sake, as a nursing student, I *definitely* know better (and should set a better example). But I’m pretty much paralyzed…and the schedule doesn’t allow for the routine I used to keep that made things relatively easy. So I just sit here, hating my body and treating it badly, and feeling bad about it, and eating stupid stuff to make me feel better (which it doesn’t, really).
    :(

  3. Euphrates says:

    So, we’re in about the same spot weight-wise (at least we were when you wrote this anyway). I am absolutely petrified of gaining back to the 260 lbs I started at when I started losing with Sparkpeople (I’ve had nightmares), and I keep telling myself I can’t afford new clothes so I don’t actually go and try anything on (but I keep a spare pair of scrubs in my locker at work in case I split my pants…they are that tight). And school has ramped up the stress so far that adding anything else “to the queue” is enough to spark random emotional breakdowns (though now that we’re past the first week or so, I’m not feeling quite so fragile all the time…just a good bit of the time). I know I need to take better care of myself – there are health issues cropping up that keep reminding me. And for gods’ sake, as a nursing student, I *definitely* know better (and should set a better example). But I’m pretty much paralyzed…and the schedule doesn’t allow for the routine I used to keep that made things relatively easy. So I just sit here, hating my body and treating it badly, and feeling bad about it, and eating stupid stuff to make me feel better (which it doesn’t, really).
    :(

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