Week 2- DONE. Week 3- Yes I Can!

Just a short one today, as it’s been a long day and my alarm goes off at 4:40 to get me on that treadmill tomorrow!

Today, I got up early before church so that I could knock out both Day 3 of Week 2 of Couch to 5k as well as Energy, to finish up week 2 and start week 3. Then this afternoon I went for a gentle hike/walk with my whole family, and it felt wonderful. I’m finding that the more I move, the easier it is to want to keep moving more.

This past week, I did 3 sessions of Fat Burner and made it through 3 days of Couch to 5k. I feel fantastic. I’m supporting that by keeping to my nutritional plan, including spending this evening making salads, cooking up chicken breasts, and then weighing, measuring, and tracking all my foods through dinner tomorrow. I also spent time putting all my planned DDPY and C25K workouts through the end of 2013 on our family calendar, which is on the fridge. This way, I have already planned around the holidays, and it’s there in black and white for me to see daily when I’m in the kitchen.

I also was happy to find that jeans I had bought this past spring, and then promptly gained too much weight to wear, now fit! I was able to rip off those tags and to wear them to a family gathering yesterday. THAT felt fantastic. I’m spending a lot of time working on my exercise, my meal planning, and in logging/reflecting on this journey, but it is moments like that that make it worth it. And I know there are many, many more of those moments to come!

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Week 1- DONE. Week 2- Bring it!

Last week I made it through Week 1 of DDPY Beginner’s level- Diamond Dozen and 2 sessions of Energy.  On the off days, I hopped on the treadmill to complete the first week of the Couch to 5K program.  I think this is the first time I have stuck to a workout schedule for a week that I set myself in advance.  As a woman with a full-time job, 3 partners with full time jobs, and 2 kids under 3 years old, this was no small feat.  It meant my alarm went off at 4:40AM several times this week- and that I got up, and got moving, to ensure I’d get my assignment for the day in.

I’m so excited that this feels good, sustainable, doable. Why am I pairing C25k with DDPY?  Because I love to run. In part, I am exploring DDPY to help me continue to be able to run.  The running is not exercise for exercise’s sake for me- it is liberatory.

But living in a 5’1 small-boned body that has weighed well over 200 lbs for years means that my joints need some love. My knees have been pretty good to me- some general crankiness but nothing unbearable (except for when I had Lyme flare-ups, or when I’m having autoimmune related fatigue- but that’s a post for another time).  I don’t expect that to last unless I take care of myself and make a change NOW, while I’m 34 years young and in relatively good health.  And that is what I’m doing.

My first go round at Fat Burner this morning was challenging but felt great.  I love hulking it out, as cheesy as it is- it always makes me smile.  I *love* the way my muscles feel as they are working through my imaginary clay.  My upper body strength is horrid and so the pushups are greatly modified for me, but I’m working on it.  I actually really enjoyed the crunches in broken table (though truth be told, I *am* a bit of a masochist).  The workout was fun, fast, and now I get on with my Sunday.  I love that it doesn’t take hours, and while I’m tired and feel like I worked, I have more energy now that when I first stepped on the mat this morning. BANG!

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Motivated By Love

I have a daily calendar at work with “Insight from the Dalai Lama,” and every morning before I start working I take a look at the previous day’s quote to cement the lesson in, and I then meditate on the new day’s offering. The past two days have been very relevant to my getting healthy journey.

The first suggests, “If we compare the mental and physical levels of happiness, we find that the experiences of pain and pleasure that take place mentally are actually much more powerful.” I definitely find this true in regards to my relationship with food and with exercise. My experience of physical discomfort. when I exercise is far less that what I imagine it to be in advance. It is really my own tendency to inertia and dislike of change that keeps me rooted to the chair or couch or bed, rather than anything actually tied to my physical experience. Do I love shaking as I’m trying to stretch and hold broken table? Do I embrace the burning in my quad and calf when I do a lunge? No. But this morning, after my second experience with Energy yesterday evening, I feel great. I certainly felt my muscles working as I climbed stairs at work, and I feel my core muscles when I swivel in my chair to reach for files. But those are more pleasant reminder that I have worked than pain that would lead me to avoid all physical energy expenditure. I need to remember that so much of my experience is what I make of it- as it is said, with our thoughts, we control our world. Not the facts of it, but our experience of it, at least.

The second insight is, “The more you are motivated by love, the more fearless and free your action will be.” I know that a lot of my prior attempts at getting healthier have been motivated more by self-loathing and negative thinking than positive thinking and self-love. I’m trying this time to focus on the positive- I am doing this not because I’m “bad” or have “failed” but because I deserve health. I am motivated to be a good example to my family, especially my children. If I operate from a place of hope, rather than a place of fear, I’m more free to to try new things and have it be ok to fail. It’s ok that I need to stay in safety zone a bit longer, it’s ok that my bridge barely raises my butt off the ground. I’m doing it, and it feels good, and everyday I’ll grow.

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Ready for a New Me

(Reposting a series of posts I’ve made to the TeamDDPYoga website)

Hi, my name is Michelle.  And I’m a food addict, a compulsive overeater, and I run to food for comfort, distraction and just about every emotion I don’t want to feel. Oh, and I work at a natural foods grocery store.  So I spend all day, every work day, around a plethora of amazing food.  So while changing my activity levels is a huge deal for me, changing my eating is as much if not a bigger issue.

I’m in my first week doing the DDPY program, but I’ve had the materials for a few weeks now.  My family has started to make some big nutritional changes (guided by the program materials; we’re doing most of stage one, all of stage two, and some of stage 3 thrown in for good measure).  I’ve been gluten free for several years due to an intolerance, and cow dairy has been pretty easy to give up since I have lactose issues.  I have to say that I am feeling very positive about some the changes we’ve been making.  We’ve been cooking in a lot more, and eating out a lot less.  I’ve tracked everything I’ve eaten for the past few weeks (I’m also following Weight Watchers, which has so far proved to be a very compatible mix with DDPY!) and that personal accountability has been difficult and enlightening.  It’s hard to see your habits that clearly, especially when there is so much to change.

Tonight is my 3rd DDPY workout of the week- Energy! go 2… and I’m more nervous this time than when I did it the first time!  I modified a lot the first go-round, and I want to see if I can stay in my lunges longer this time before dropping down.  We shall see.

I do have to say that I feel lucky that I have both my family that lives with me (my wife and our two partners) all joining me on the DDPY journey, as well as multiple members of my family of the heart, especially my dear sister. It is awesome that we have each other for support, reflection, encouragement and company.   It means changing a lot of our patterns, all at once- but now is the time!  My wife just gave birth to our second child a month ago, and so our whole world has changed- changing it some more right now, in positive ways, just makes a lot of sense.

Now is the time, to be making a new me, to be helping build a new us. Stronger, surer, a little lighter both in body and spirit.  How blessed am I to be surrounded by so much support, love, and company in this process!

 

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Waiting for the Bounce

I don’t measure a man’s success by how high he climbs but how high he bounces when he hits bottom.  -George S. Patton

Lately, I feel like I’m gazing at rock-bottom when it comes to my health and weight loss journey, and I’m just waiting for the thud.  I’ve been eating a lot of my  “comfort foods,” the salty, fatty, carby, terrible for me things that I have sought comfort in since I was very young. Key ingredients include cheese, highly processed carbs, fried foods, and sugar/salt/fat.

From Mac & cheese, pizza, fried everything, grilled cheese, cheese and crackers, and cheese quesadillas,  to bacon cheeseburgers, fried chicken patty sandwiches, fried clams, french fries; from fettuccine alfredo, creamy soups, milkshakes, bagels and cream cheese, to Bailey’s, Remy, rum and coke, cookies, ice cream, milk chocolate… Notice the lack of vegetables? Fruits? Clean protein? When I’m feeling out of cope, as I have been, it’s where I revert.  It’s where I have been returning to for a while now.

I’ve needed comfort.  A year and half ago, I was doing the 40 Days at Heartsong- and that’s when the depression started.  After watching Aimee’s super easy experience with getting pregnant, my more difficult time came as sort of a shock- not to my brain, which knew my chances, but to my heart.  My motivation to get healthier started to wane, and I lost energy as I started to regain some of the weight I had lost.  And then I felt sicker, and the weight piled on, and the exercise stopped.  And after 8 months of trying to get pregnant I gave Aimee the go-ahead for try to conceive, she did, again, in her first month of trying (our plan has been 3, so this was just a timing issue).  As excited as I am for the baby to come (in just 2 weeks!), and feel blessed that Aimee has had such a positive experience, there is still part of me that feels betrayed by my body.  Then I started to get more answers when I was diagnosed with an autoimmune disorder this spring and advised not to try to conceive until I get my thyroid under control (and it’s still not, 5 months of medication and adjustments later).  Add to that getting Lyme disease this summer, which had me bedridden except for work for several weeks, and now I’m having a lot of joint pain. I’m going to WW but my weight hasn’t budged because my habits have been hard to shake. And by hasn’t budged I mean it’s fluctated a pound or two, and as of today’s weigh in I’m at the exact weight I started at in July.

My health isn’t my only stressor- there’s Aimee’s busy business schedule and her pregnancy; Micah going from being our stay at home dad to working 2 jobs that mean he works 7 days a week; Ian working 50-60 hour weeks; Ian’s mom moving in and all the transitions with that; and oh, yeah, having a 2½ year old amazingly energetic little boy…  Add in work stresses and transitions, finance worries, maintaining the house with the 6 of us, etc…  It’s a lot to handle, a lot to wrap my head and heart around.  It’s a lot for all of us in my family, and so we’re all often drained and not able to support each other the way we’d like, because we’re focused on keeping our own small corners of our world held together.

I’ve been in therapy for the past year and am lucky to have an amazing therapist to support me on this journey, but part of that work has been to look at all the ways I block myself from really feeling- and thus dealing with- the pain I have felt from the illness, the infertility, and the myriad of stressors in my life.  And I’m reaching the place where I’m scared and able to feel it- and I’m uncovering a real depth of fear.  There is the fear of what if I can’t change- I don’t want to die young, or have limited mobility as I age, or hurt so much for the rest of my life. I want to be able to run around with my kids, and their kids, someday. But there is also a great fear of change, because these methods of coping are all I have ever known.

I know that there is science behind the why of comfort food- the release of dopamine and seratonin, for instance.  But for me the real key for finding my way out of this spiral is to find healthier ways to nurture myself.  Beating myself up hasn’t worked, and so I need to find ways to take care of myself that are kind but effective- and help me actually deal with what I’m feeling, not just suppress or ignore it.

Some of the things I know have worked for me in the past, that I want to get back to include:

*Getting up earlier and having a morning routine that helps me start my day in a positive note

*Blogging to talk about what I’m going through, both as an accountability and mindfulness tool, and as a way to connect with others going through these struggles

*Getting moving again- walking at first, and then hopefully jogging.  A 5K next spring would make me happy. Also yoga, which I’ve had a big emotional block against for the past year (but have come back to again and again for over 15 years, so I know I will, again).

*Eat mindfully and healthfully, not mindlessly as a numbing or escape agent.

*Meditating, especially first thing in the morning and last thing at night, and with other people/groups when I can.

*Journalling, especially first thing in the morning and last thing at night, and when I need to resist a craving.

*Spending time on my spirituality, including going to church and to Grove activities, as well as solitary devotionals and study.

*Actively looking for ways to simplify and streamline my schedule and attentions so I’m spending more of my time on those things that have a positive impact on my life.

So will I more toward this healthier path?  I see myself taking small steps in this direction, talking to supportive friends, continuing Weight Watchers, even blogging tonight.  But I know from experience (and anyone can see from the evolution of this blog) my history of jumping in with enthusiasm only to run away at the first real signs of imperfection or struggle.

I don’t really know how or where to start but to, well, start.  And start again, and again, until I’m somewhere else on the path that feels better than where I am now- and then to keep going.

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Doing Something

“So what do we do? Anything. Something. So long as we just don’t sit there. If we screw it up, start over. Try something else. If we wait until we’ve satisfied all the uncertainties, it may be too late.” – Lee Iacocca

Part of what has held me back from starting down a healthier path again is the feeling of, well, I’ve tried everything and nothing has worked, so I guess I’m just a failure and should give up on hoping for better.  When I catch myself in this fatalist thinking, I have to laugh.  Because I can’t be perfect, my mind tells me it’s ok to do nothing at all… because really, that’s what I’d rather be doing.  Who wouldn’t want to eat whatever they want whenever they crave it, to sit around and only move when feel the whim?  But although I don’t have the perfect answer ready for me- there is no guarantee of any more success for me on this new path than any other I have taken- I do know that if I wait for things to feel perfect, I will always find an excuse.  A fear of failure can’t continue to stop me from trying. Or, rather, it can stop me, but I’m choosing not to let it.

Today I did well with bringing my breakfast and lunch to work, and it felt good to be able to say no to a free peanut butter chocolate bar that I really really wanted, using my journal as a tool to help me resist.  I did check the points on the bar (a favorite that I had been getting, oh, once or twice a week), and it’s 7 points.  To put this in perspective, neither my breakfast nor my lunch were 7 points!  When I got home, for a snack I sliced a banana down the middle, spread two teaspoons of organic natural peanut butter inside, and sprinkled it with a point’s worth of dark chocolate chips.  It was delicious and satisfying for less than half the points of the chocolate bar.  I also brought home sushi for dinner instead of going out on my date night tonight.  This way I’m able to make a big fresh green salad to go along with my salmon and avocado brown rice roll, rather than filling up on sodium-laden miso soup or sugary ginger dressing at a restaurant.
My Weight Watcher leader Becky gave us a calendar for August with a tip or question for each day, and today’s is “Focus this month on creating an environment in which you can be successful.  What needs to change?”  I know that two of the hardest things I need to work on are stress eating at work and making poor choices when dining out (especially at the end of a long and stressful day).  Today, by bringing my food to work and not giving in to temptation, and by planning ahead for dinner and bringing food home rather than dining out, I am working on two of the changes I need to make to my environment.

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Starting Somewhere

Everybody has to start somewhere.  You have your whole future ahead of you. – Haruki Murakami

Yesterday, I took some time to prepare myself for attending my first Weight Watchers meeting in a few years.  I signed myself up for a monthly pass card, I set myself up on etools and reset my weight trackers (the previous one had begun in 2010, and included my current high weight ever.  I’m glad I’m not there now, but I’m not very far off.  Certainly too close for comfort.)  I reviewed some of the Weight Watchers basics, and committed in my mind to approaching today’s meeting like a beginner, starting fresh.

I also picked up a book my therapist had been urging me to look at- Julia Cameron’s The Writing Diet: Write Yourself Write-Size.  I had wanted to take a look at the book when it first came out in 2007, had picked it up in a used book store several years later, looked at the intro, and put it on a shelf, and recently it came into my consciousness again in a therapy session.  I read the introductory sections that are the meat of the book last night, which encourage people to use a few complementary tools that include writing as a way to increase mindfulness around eating habits, and to get to the root of the whys of your eating.  I hope to write more about the specific tools here in the future.

One of the tools is a daily freewriting exercise that Cameron calls the Morning Pages.  Inspired by this, I decided to end my night with 5 minutes of handwritten freewriting in a journal, followed by five minutes of sitting meditation.  It felt good, and so I got up this morning and repeated the process- five minutes of writing, emptying my brain, followed by five minutes sitting, focusing on my breath.  That felt good too, and so I’m going to repeat the process tonight.  I’m not going to set a goal of doing this daily, or for a certain amount of time- I’m just going to notice the process and how it feels, and then decide if I want to continue it, increase it, or stop doing it as I go along.
Today’s WW meeting was interesting because I really did feel like a beginner again, in the best of ways.  WW 360 has introduced some new focuses that I really enjoy- rather than just focusing on tracking your food and exercise, there is also an emphasis in thinking about your routines and the spaces which you inhabit, and how those relate to your health journey.  I think that this focus on the behavioral will be a good one for me.  This week’s focus was on how to turn around a slip-up, and as someone who struggles to not let a slip-up become an excuse to give into perfectionism, it was a good refresher for me.

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Embracing Beginner’s Mind… Again

“In the beginner’s mind there are many possibilities, but in the expert’s there are few.” – Zen Master Shunryo Suzuki

If it wasn’t obvious from my blogging absence over the past three months, I did not make it through the Eat to Live program, though I did learn a good deal from the experience.  Abstaining from processed foods helped reset my taste buds for a while, and I found that a big bowl of vegetable soup or salad could be a fulfilling meal for me.  I also learned that an abundance of beans is not something that my body enjoys.

When I stopped following the program, I fell off.  I fell off hard of every wagon I had climbed on for the past few years, and hit the ground with a resounding smack.  I have not been exercising, I have been listening to every call for sugar/fat/salt bombs, and I have not been sleep well.  I have been under so much stress- between work (where there has been a lot of change), home (with the baby my wife is carrying on the way in two months, and one of my mother-in-laws moving in with us in one week), and my health (the Hashimoto’s, another round of Lyme Disease and the resultant antibiotics, and my continuing infertility, with more specialist appointments on the way and more tests to be done for yet more issues).  I recently took a Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction Course, which gave me some great tools, but unfortunately having the Lyme Disease hit over the course of the majority of the course limited my ability to fully participate.  Well, if I’m honest, it limited my DRIVE to fully participate.  I feel like I have been in a haze of stress.

A few good things have come from this moment of rock-bottomness.  Working on my newly honed skills in terms of separating my stressors and my reaction to them by increased awareness and ability to be present, I’ve been able to observe a lot about the choices I make and how they occur.  I haven’t been in a mindset to change those choices, but I think that now that I have decided it is time to pick myself up, dust myself off, and try all over again, they will give me some good tools to start to make change.

I think that embracing the idea of beginner’s mind is important for me every time I reach this point, yet again.  Yes, I have been here, repeatedly, for the majority of my life- at this point of wanting to make it better, to make ME better.  But that does not mean I know what the outcome will be, or that I should think of myself as predestined to fail in some way, because I have “failed” what I have strived for in the past. It’s easy to get weighed down in feeling like a weight loss expert when you’ve done it a million times.  Instead of a lot of failures, I have learned of a lot of methods that haven’t worked.  (Thank you, Edison).

One thing I am trying this time is also limiting my goal setting- for instance, I will not be striving to weigh a certain weight at a certain time, as this has brought out my perfectionism (and thus my fatalism, and desire to quit, due to all-or-nothing thinking) in the past.  I can learn from experience even if I don’t cling to it.  As Mary Jaksch says in her article on Beginner’s Mind on Zen Habits, “Beginner’s Mind doesn’t mean negating experience; it means keeping an open mind on how to apply our experience to each new circumstance.”  I have amassed a lot of great tools over the years of my getting healthy journey, I have learned a lot about myself, and I now have an opportunity to use them differently.
Instead of setting object goals, this time, I am going to work on building positive behaviors.  Blogging is one healthy behavior I’d like to get back to, as it gives me a chance to reflect on my choices and work through areas that are challenging me, as well a place to celebrate my accomplishments.  It serves as a great way to connect with others who are on their own journeys of getting healthier.  I’ve also rejoined Weight Watchers, because it’s been a good source of support, accountability, and positive habit encouragement for me.  I want to be working on building positive behaviors, not judging myself by how fast I progress in one set way and how that compares to an arbitrary metric I’ve set for myself.

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Eat to Live Week 3 Days 1 & 2

One of the things I have been thinking about, now being 1/3rd of the way through the 6 week Eat to Live program, is what I want to do once I’ve made it through the 6 weeks.  I can’t see myself eating stricting nutritarian for the rest of my life- I’m too much of a foodie.  I think it’s a great way to reset my habits and eating patterns, but I don’t think it’s sustainable for the type of life I’d like to lead.  I’ve been discussing this with my family, and one of things we’ve talked about that makes a lot of sense to me is eating for nutrition vs. eating for pleasure.  I think that if I aim to make the vast majority of my meals eating for nutrition, that I will be able to enjoy the meals that I eat for pleasure with less guilt and impact on my health.  This is not to say the two things are mutually exclusive- I certainly enjoy most of my nutritious meals, and the majority of my pleasurable meals are quite nutritious.  But it shifts the focus, so that, say my breakfasts and lunch during the week are about fueling myself and loading up on nutrients, rather than seeking out pleasure.

I did deviate from the plan on Sunday morning, and had my first animal product and added oil in two weeks.  I was out to breakfast with my family, and our plan to eat out at a vegan restaurant was thwarted because they were closed for Earth Day.  (I kid you not.)  So we ended up at Esselon, a cafe I adore.  I have had many an order of pomme frites and gluten-free grilled cheese with creamy tomato soup there.  I ended up opting for the egg special (since I can’t tolerate tofu, which was my vegan option), which was eggs scrambled with pesto, with a side salad with vinaigrette and a grilled yellow tomato.  It was delicious, and I savored every bite.  However, I also noticed that it tasted quite oily to me, which was interesting- it almost overpowered the greens, and the tomato, and definitely made the fluffy eggs heavier tasting than they might have been.  I really enjoyed it, AND I saw ways that making it healthier would have improved the taste.  I was worried about my reaction to the meal, but I actually ended up feeling pretty ok except for a heavy feeling in my stomach that stretched into the afternoon.  I ended up eating pretty lightly the rest of the day, and had a smoothie for dinner to get lots of produce in.  I didn’t regret the meal or beat myself up as much as I might have- I made the best decision I could at that moment, and moved on.

Monday and today it was back to basics- fruit and nuts for breakfast, salad with beans for lunch- these are meals for nutrition, for fuel.  That doesn’t mean they are not enjoyable, but the enjoyment isn’t the point- feeding my body well is.  Monday night I had a small serving of brown rice pasta with homemade tomato vegetable sauce, Italian-spiced cannellini beans, and avocado with a big green salad.  I could have made it a meal for pleasure and had some of the fried bean cakes Aimee made which looked (and were reportedly) delicious, but I decided that this was an eating for nutrition night, since I had had a pleasure meal the day before.  The same held true tonight- while my family had burritos, I made myself a bean bowl.  Same toppings, different delivery.

So maybe there is a sustainable pattern here- that the majority of my meals are meals for nutrition, full of veggies, fruits, nuts, seeds, and healthy whole grains, and that I have an occasional meal for pleasure, where I have some of the things I normally don’t have- added oils, animal products, processed grains, etc, with the goal of not overindulging but fully enjoying the food I am having while I am having it.
I’m also noticing that I have a lot more energy in the past couple of weeks than I have in a long time.  I don’t know if it’s the diet, the increased movement, the spring coming, or my thyroid medication kicking in.  I used to need a recovery period after work, where I would sit and veg out before I did anything else.  Now, I come home and I still have quite a bit of energy most nights.  Tonight, for instance, my plans fell through because the host of my small group ministry group was sick.  Instead of just parking myself in front of TV, I decided to make dinner for my family.  I decided to test out my new Ninja Express Chop (which I bought yesterday as another Happy-Birthday-to-me) and brought home a bunch of ingredients for salsa and bean dip.  I made a tomato salsa, a corn salsa, avocado and bean dip, and chopped up a bunch of peppers.  It definitely was a lot quicker using the Express Chop than by hand with much smoother results, and so much easier to make the dip that way than the Vitamix, which is overkill and much harder to get a small amount out of!  We also heated up and spiced some black beans and pinto beans.  It took a couple of hours, all told, but it was definitely worth the effort to make fresh healthy food, and to make my family happy!

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Eat to Live Week 2 Day 6 & 7- Weigh-in #2

I was very happy with this morning’s weigh-in- I was down another 2.6 lbs for a total of 9.5 lbs lost these past two weeks.  I’m now at 210.2, which gives me a clear goal for the coming week- get myself under 210 lbs!  I also met one of my intermediate goals, which was to get my BMI under 40- it is now 39.6, which moves me from Obese Class III (Very severely obese) to Obese Class II (Severely obese).  Which leaves me still severely obese, but hey, it’s movement in the right direction!  When I learned I was in the highest of the obesity classes, that really scared me.  I know that BMI is only one not stellar measure, but for someone like me without a lot of muscle and a small frame, it’s at least a good one to look at.

Yesterday was a really hard food day for me.  I ended up having another bowl of black beans, corn salsa, salsa fresca, and the avocado bean dip (no rice) for breakfast, and then another small bowl (with rice) for breakfast.  The idea of eating a salad, or even cooked greens, just made me nauseous.  I know that that is much more psychological than physiological, and has to do with my heightened anxiety.  I also found myself doing some mindless snacking yesterday (homemade almond crackers with cocoa nibs)-  all food that is allowed, but it was the action of standing in the kitchen and sneaking the food that was not something I want to continue.  I did have a snack of a banana and a few almonds when we were out yesterday, which I had planned ahead for because I knew we’d be on the run, and then Aimee made chana masala for dinner, served over rice, with a side salad of kale, avo, tomato & cayenne.  So yesterday was full of too many starchy foods and not enough greens.  I did successfully avoid any of the cravings I had post-dinner, which were not from hunger, but out of habit.  I’m definitely finding that the weekends are a lot harder for me to stay on my discipline than the weeks!  But I also know that with the stress of this week with the Boston bombing, this was not at all a normal week and I could have done much, much, much worse.
My goal for this week is to complete week 1 of C25k, and to do well at following my diet plan this week, especially more healthy veggies!

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